There was once a Carolina Football player and a Clemson Football player who lived next door to each other. The Carolina Football Player owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Clemson Football player's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Clemson Football player pick up the egg. The Carolina player ran up to the Clemson player and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Clemson player disagreed because the Egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Carolina player said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the groin and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the groin and time how long it takes for me to get up, whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Clemson player agreed to this and so the Carolina player found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Clemson player and kicked as hard as he could in the groin. The Clemson player fell to the floor clutching his groin howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Clemson player stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." The Carolina player said, "You can keep the egg."

Three members of the Clemson football team wander into restuarant and sit down at the bar and order some food and drinks. A few minutes later, one of them yells out "51". All three jump up and give eachother high-fives and start chanting "51", "51", "51". Then they sit back down and continue on with their meal. Then, about five minutes later it hapens again. One of them yells out "51". All three jump up and give eachother high-fives and start chanting "51", "51", "51". Then they sit back down and continue on with their meal.
This goes on for about an hour. Finally the bartender, curious about the goings on, comes over and asks "what is the significance of 51". Once again, the three Clemson football team members jump up and go through their routine. After they finish, one of them explains that they had just finished putting together a puzzle in 51 days. <more chanting>. The bartender says, "why are you so excited that it took you 51 days to put together a puzzle?". Proudly and triumphantly, one of the players says "The box said 3 to 4 years"

A Clemson football player was visiting a relative in Boston over theholidays.He went to a large party and met a pretty coed.Attempting to start up a conversation, he says, "Where do ya'll gota'school?"The coed was not overly impressed with his grammar or drawl...but answered his question,"Yale," she replied.The boy took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DO YA'LL GO TA'SCHOOL!?"

A farmer from South Carolina dies and, being a heathen, goes to Hell.

When he gets there its 95 F with 90% humidity, but Satan notices he's kicked back on the brimstone relaxing comfortably.

He asks, "Why aren't you miserable like everyone else here?" The farmer replies, "Oh, this is like a warm spring day in Columbia. I like it."

Angry, Satan turns up the thermostat until its 100 F and 95% humidity.

Still, the farmer's happy. "This is like a good June day on the farm. Not bad at all."

Furious, Satan turns it up to 105 F and 99% humidity. Everyone is even more miserable, except the farmer from South Carolina still resting.

"Hey, this is like a good August day on the farm bailing hay. Feels good the hotter the better."

In a total rage, Satan turns the thermostat down to minus 25 F. Within seconds, the air becomes chilly and frost appears, soon followed by solid ice everywhere. Satan smirks, watching the farmer.

The confused farmer looks down at the frozen ground for a moment, suddenly jumps up excitedly, looks around everywhere and begins to laugh, scream, and jump for joy.

"THE GAMECOCKS WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!"